Celebrating Eid with Laila...

The blog post is being written after attaining permission from Laila, a 22 year old girl from Srinagar (studying in Delhi), whom I met up on this Eid.Don’t go googling for Laila because, the name has been changed on request.we people know each other since long via orkut / mig33 / koshurpinta.com.

She being the only person who was willing to meet me on this Eid, We agreed to meet at Town Square shopping Mall in GogjiBagh. The meet up time was to be 12.30 p.m. and we were to go for lunch.

I told my brother that I had an important meeting and wanted the car shining from both inside and outside. While my car was being washed by haseeb, I also took bath (I generally do), put on my costliest Sweater T-shirt & got into my only blue jeans.

I called up Laila...

“I am about to leave my house. Where in Town Square Mall will I find you?”

“You will find me waiting in my Honda City, just outside Time Square Mall. If you are fine, I would rather have my lunch outside somewhere.” She sure sounded like a woman that knows what she wanted. As it always happens with me, when a woman is involved, I agree.

I called her again after five minutes. “A grey colored Honda city, you said?” I asked.

“Yes. Why?” She responded.

EID Ul Adha Mubarak

Koshurpinta wishes all ummah a happy and prosperous Eid...
some cool lines from my little brother's website

Alec Smart Said: Its the time when animals do slaughter humans.. Tsk Tsk.. The Two Legged Animals I mean...
courtesy: www.qazimamoon.com

Koshurpinta.com - Beta version 2.0 launched

Finally at last www.koshurpinta.com version 2.0 (Beta) launched today. hope you guyz out there will like it.
Features of the new version :

• SEO layout.

• Featured post.

• High graphical but easy to use user inter phase.

• Read More feature enabled.

• Instant Reactions feature Enabled

Features coming soon

• Social bookmarking 
• tweeter widget
• Highly integrated chat box
  

and much more coming soon... keep visiting www.koshurpinta.com

A Lonely Desperate Man - Shakeeb

Have you ever been desperate? If you are a lady, you probably DON’T know how it feels…but a man will understand. A man, who is not so handsome, dark and makes no sense to pretty girls will understand it better. Just in case you don’t know, I am that no so handsome man, dark and make no sense to girls…somebody like GB Shaw.

Some of you might argue that GB Shaw made no sense to the girls because he was intelligent. But that’s not the point I am debating here.

Anyway, I have been home alone for the last 25 days. My Parents has been away since October 20 and my girl friend (Laila) has been away on assignments ever since (how I hate working girlfriends!). Thanks to these thankless souls I have been having a lonely existence.

Today 1st November i realized the importance of someone who will look after me who will care for me who will love me in my life. without that person i will be a lonely desperate man.

Here is how a desperate, lonely man’s average day goes:

6.35 a.m.:
Get up and check the phone first. See if the girl friend called you while you were asleep. Why didn’t she call? Has she found a boyfriend? Check the missed calls. What if she called late in the night and you missed it? As a last resort, check if the wife has left any missed calls. Pointless, I know. Why would a wife leave a missed call late in the night? Wouldn’t she be snoring?

7.00 a.m.:
Check mobile again. What if the girl friend called when you were in the loo reading the newspaper.

7.20 a.m.:
Debate if one has to make tea. For it means, three utensils will get soiled and will have to be washed – the pan, the sieve and the ceramic cup. Eventually one makes tea and looks at the mobile again – this time for missed calls.

8.00 a.m.:
Sit in front of the desktop and see if there are any new mails. After the gmail account, try the hotmail account and then the Yahoo account. The last mail in Yahoo account is at 12.30 a.m., which you have already seen. It is the one about ‘how to give complete pleasure to the woman in your life,’ and you had already responded saying there were none to be seen around.

8.15 a.m.:
Wonder if you really have to take bath because no one will know if you didn’t. Decide to just brush your teeth – and that too because Pepsodent Mint was bought yesterday and you are keen to know how it tastes. Try eating a squeeze of Pepsodent Mint tooth paste and find out that the froth (or is it foam?) is more than that in a Close Up paste.

8.25 a.m.:
Come out of the washroom feeling happy that you didn’t have to take bath. Dry the towel outside anyway because you don’t want the neighbors to suspect that you didn’t take bath.

8.45 a.m.:
Lock the door hoping to bring along a girl (or a boy) in the evening for some company. Before you lock and turn your brain lets you know that it is not going to happen. So feel sad and depressed.

8.50 a.m.:
Sit in the car and wonder who to call during the 30 minute drive to the University. Think of girls in the department. Wonder if the girl in the department would be engaged or not. Wonder if her Brother would end up pick up the call? Anyway, try her number and find out that she is already talking to somebody – her boyfriend perhaps.

9.05 a.m.:
Reach the university car park. Try hard. Anybody who can be called? Decide that even a boy is fine as long as he picks up the phone. He doesn’t pick up the phone. Console self that he must be driving.

9.15 a.m. to 7.30 p.m.:
Spend the whole day thinking if you will get somebody to spend the evening with. After 5.30 p.m. decide that even a man will do. After 7.00 p.m. decide that even somebody about 45 years of age will do. At 7.30 p.m. – when you reach home – realize that even a plastic doll will do.(just for the sake of company)

8.00 p.m.:
While opening the door, wonder if it would have been better if you were a girl. It would have been child’s play to get a boy home. A nudge here, a wink there….that is all one would have required.

8.30 p.m.:
Wonder if you can call that girl who once said she liked your funny articles on koshurpinta.com. Was she engaged? Did she sound as if she was interested in you? No idea. Plan dropped because didn’t want to be confronted by an upset boyfriend.

9.00 p.m.:
Nothing like a fried chicken to give you company.

10.00 p.m.:
See if the romantic novels collection you have been building over the years still looks exciting. Find out that you have outgrown your collection and need something more contemporary. Try reading a paragraph or two...

10.15 p.m.:
Turn on the PC.Find out a site called http://www.facebook.com , then switch over to orkut , then twitter, then so on...

11:00 p.m:
Pray to Almighty that my parents would find a perfect match (Laila) for me and i will soon get married so that i cnt be as much lonely and desperate as i was 2day.

12 midnight:
Hit the bed - a lonely, desperate man.

Some Mobile Keeping Rules - In Pinta Style

Below are some cartoons by Mr.Vikram Nandwani creator of .pOINT_bLANK which illustrates mobile phone keeping and using rules in our very own Pinta Style...

 

 

 

 

koshurpinta asked: Mobile phones what are those???
Shakeeb Replied: They are idiot boxes used for creating and breaking Relationships... :)

HIV ENTERS VALLEY SCHOOLS

The growing incidence of HIV infection in J&K has been an open secret for some time, but now the monster has extended its reach to schools and colleges. Officials say two cases have surfaced in a private elite school, and three others in a professional college.
The Human Immunodeficiency Virus or HIV that causes the dreaded AIDS disease is unshackling itself from high risk categories in Kashmir. While its incidence is growing, it is also surfacing in unsuspecting corners.
The HIV testing laboratory in Srinagar has detected five HIV positive cases from a private school and a college.
Dr. Munir Masoodi, Head of Social and Preventive Medicine (SPM) department in Government Medical College Srinagar while confirming the reports said, “Three cases of HIV were reported from a professional college of Srinagar and two cases from an elite private school.”
It is for the first time that cases from schools or colleges with minor victims have been detected in Kashmir. Experts call the development frightening. The HIV positive school children are in the age group of 14 -15.
“Alcoholism, drug addiction and behavioural changes are fast catching up among the teenagers,” says Masoodi. “The prevalence of HIV infection is also correspondingly increasing.”
Ninety percent of the new HIV infections in the state are however being attributed to sexual transmission.
The worrying factor is that HIV detection depends on voluntary checks by victims, which is not very effective. Even in cases where doctors suspect a person as potentially HIV positive, such as a partner of an HIV positive patient, they can’t force him or her to take the test. Doctors don’t have any authority to enforce HIV determination tests and can only offer counseling for such people. The limitation means more many HIV cases remain undetected.
Most of the people with whom the infected students had sexual relations are out of the ambit of detection. “We just offer them counseling for encouraging voluntary testing and guide them in coping with the dreaded situation,” says Masoodi. “A couple of them are coming for counseling,” he confirmed.
It is feared that dozens more roam free as carriers of the virus.

DANGER BELLS

Two cases detected in a school Three cases detected in a professional college Detection mostly on voluntary tests Partners of detected cases untraced Infection moving from high risk groups to low risk

Another worrying trend has the indigenisation of HIV spread. “Earlier most of the cases used to be those people who had visited outside or had contact with outsiders in Kashmir, but now virus is very much in Kashmiri society and it is spreading,” says Dr Salim Khan of Department of Social and Preventive Medicine at GMC Srinagar.
The virus is traveling from high risk group (security forces, long distance truckers, out-going students and businessmen) to low risk population (that is entire population).
“The prevalence is going down but numbers are up because of awareness. In last nine months 51000 people reported for voluntary testing and it is a record,” says Dr Mohammad Amin, who heads the State AIDS Prevention and Control Society (SAPCS).
Some Kashmiri students in mainland India have also been detected HIV positive.
“When a person from here visits outside for say education, entire culture changes for him or her and family pressure, rules and regulations also loosen up,” says Dr Khan. “The result is that people take liberty in their behaviour with dangerous consequences.”
The profile of HIV positive patients in Kashmir is extremely heterogeneous with people from every possible category.
The HIV testing laboratories in Srinagar have detected the virus in businessmen, long distance truck drivers, students, teenagers, elderly men and women from upper and middle class families of Kashmir.
“There is no particular category in which we can put such patients as they are from every possible genre,” says Mushtaq Siddiqi, HOD Immunology department of SKIMS. “The youngest patient visiting our clinic for treatment is a child who contracted it from his mother and the eldest is a person in his late 60’s.”

SYMPTOMS OF HIV

There is no way to know for sure if someone else has HIV. Many people with HIV look perfectly healthy. Some people experience common cold type infection besides fever, fatigue, rash, headache, swollen lymph nodes, and sore throat. These symptoms can occur within days or weeks of the initial exposure to the virus during a period called primary or acute HIV infection and they usually disappear within a few days or weeks. Due to common nature of such symptoms carrying out test in a clinical laboratory is a reliable way to diagnose HIV infection. Once the primary or acute infection is over, most people do not experience any visible symptoms for another 8-10 years. Left untreated, the immune system becomes increasingly weaker and the disease progresses to AIDS. After that “opportunistic infections” like pneumonia, tuberculosis, and toxoplasmosis cause the death.

The HIV cases are usually detected by voluntary testing, screening of blood donors and pregnant women.
Recently a pregnant woman at Lalded Hospital needed blood transfusion. Her husband offered blood and during routine check he was found to be HIV positive. Later the woman too was found to be HIV positive. On investigation the husband was found to have contracted the virus due to his sexual relations outside the marriage and then passed on the virus unwittingly to his wife.
It is second case of a pregnant woman being detected HIV positive in Kashmir.
According to experts the transition of society from a conservative one to more open kind is a contributing factor. “The loosening of family and social values is a big factor in the current situation,” says Dr. Khan. “In the mad rush we are trampling all norms in behavior with disastrous results.”
Recently, an 18 year old college student was confirmed HIV positive. “Next day he brought his friend for the test and he was also confirmed positive,” says a doctor who handled their case at SMHS Hospital. “We were shocked to hear that the two were indulging in homosexual activity, which is more dangerous.” Last year, an old city eunuch treated at SKIMS admitted 27 physical contacts including those with security forces.
In another case, the doctors had tough time getting information about the cause of infection from an 18-year-old unmarried girl, who was tested positive for HIV infection.
“Most of the cases occurring in Kashmir are in the age group of 15-30,” says Dr Masoodi.
The increasing level of sexual activity among teenagers is driving HIV infection in Kashmir. Late marriages too have catalyzed the behavioral change.
Dr Khan blames society for the situation. “Actually we have made marriages difficult and adultery easy and it is the reason we have to suffer,” says Dr Khan.
One of the biggest problems facing HIV counselors is how to keep an HIV positive person under surveillance, treatment and counseling. In many cases patients flee on detection of the virus. As the entire process has to be voluntary, doctors are forced to be mute spectators and HIV positive people roam freely in society without any guidance.
Doctors attribute rising flesh trade as another cause of rising HIV infections. “The number of makeshift brothels has increased particularly in the areas adjacent to highways and they have become hotbeds of infection,” says a doctor on the basis of his observation. Experts fear that the way all the accused got scot free during the infamous sexual abuse scandal, the criminals have become more daring.
Tourism is another driver. Jammu and Kashmir gets around eight million visitors annually. Tourist traffic to Ladakh has crossed 91,000 and arrivals in Srinagar have touched an all time high this year. Tourism involves a host of population including boatmen, hoteliers, taxi drivers and tour-operators. Tourists are in direct touch with the host population. Interestingly, a few years back when a French visitor was hit by a bullet, he was rushed to hospital where incidentally he was detected HIV positive.
Cases of HIV infection occurring due to marriage with outside girls have also surfaced in Kashmir. Every year hundreds of women from Bengal, Bihar, UP and other such places are brought to Kashmir for marriage. It has been found that some of them were infected and they passed on the infection to their husbands.
“More such cases are coming out,” says a doctor at Immunology Department of SKIMS. In one case a man was infected with HIV virus from his non-local wife. “Upon investigation, it was learnt that the particular woman was indulging in prostitution before coming to Kashmir,” he further added. As no prior screening is done and nobody knows what the non-local woman was doing before being passed on for marriage to a Kashmiri.
While we get women (for marriage), labor force from comparatively HIV-prone areas, students and seasonal traders spend most of their winters in the same belt doubling the risk.
Another cause of HIV infections is drug abuse. Recently two cases of HIV positive infections from south Kashmir were detected by doctors at SMHS. The duo had contracted the virus after sharing needles for drugs. “They confirmed that they were a large group and all of them share the same needle for taking drugs,” says a doctor. “The problem is that the rest of the group, whose number runs into dozens, are not coming forward for tests.”
So if some cases have been detected, many times more remain undetected. “The symptoms are not quite specific, peoples’ ignorance and societal pressures can keep the higher level of infection hidden in the population,” says Siddiqui.
Dr Masoodi says the figure might be as high as 5000 for the state. Other experts say that the figure can be very high, as much as five times more.
On an All India scale too the picture looks grim. From a low prevalence state, Jammu and Kashmir is moving towards the high prevalence zone.
A report published in the Indian Journal of Medical Research recently disclosed that an increasing epidemic trend was noticed in seven of the low prevalence states such as Pudducherry, Jammu and Kashmir, Jharkhand, Bihar, Orissa, Rajasthan and West Bengal.
The prevalence rate among Kashmiris during the last six months has also shown an increase. At a single counselling centre, 15 cases have been detected and all of them are Kashmiris. “This is the highest number detected so far by us,” says the doctor manning the centre.
The first HIV positive case in Kashmir was detected in 1986. He was a Kashmiri doing business in Germany and had returned with the virus. The case is also one of the earliest detected in entire India. After that, there was a long gap in HIV detection and a regular flow came after 1995. In 2008, 211 new cases of HIV/AIDS were detected in entire state.
Officially, J&K has 1812 detected HIV positive cases. SAPCS has 95 documented deaths as 264 full blown cases are passing through different stages of ultimate immunological collapse. But a conservative Kashmir having 0.6 percent prevalence only in high–risk groups is wishful thinking. The iceberg is showing just its tip. J&K, especially Kashmir, has all the ingredients for becoming an AIDS hotbed.

Above article is written by : Haroon Mirani (www.kashmirlife.net)
http://kashmirlife.net/back isssue/May 02/Cover Story.html

Dear Deception

Arsalan!Arsalan!Save Me!Save Me!
These heart rendering cries woke up Arsalan from his deep slumber in the middle of night.From the past several months he was getting this nightmare frequently.Adnan and Arsalan were two brothers who grew up together during the miserable times of 1990's when Kashmiri intifada was at its zenith.Before this they used to play cheerfully with other boys in the neighbouring park till late evening and were always ready to make new friends.But suddenly something changed as their parents debarred them from playing till late hours and making new friends.They began to be watchful of their wards activities,friends and used to advice them not to make acquaintances with strangers and keep everybody at arms length as they were too young to understand Who is Who!
Adnan and Arsalan couldn't understand these changes,but they could still experience that something was missing from their lives.
Though the atmosphere,environment,trees,birds,flora,fauna,rivers and snow covered mountains were the same but still the contentment was missing.One day while returning from school they saw hundreds of people being brought down from public buses,made to que up in straight lines,ordered to keep their identification cards in their hands while being throughly frisked by the police and other uniformed men whom they couldn't recognise as Kashmiris because their height,facial complexion and language were different.They saw a man being ordered by these men to become a "cock",the punishment they encountered in their classroom when their teacher would punish any student by ordering him to bent on his legs with his arms criss-crosed across his legs with the fingers holding the ears thus making his head bow down.They saw another elderly man being beaten by rifles,gun butts and bamboo sticks and then thrown in an army vehicle.They were witnessing these gruesome acts but couldn't make out why all this was happening,when suddenly a black soldier sporting big fearsome whiskers covering half of his face shouted at them and ordered them to stop.Both of them froze and fearfully approached the soldier who shouted at them"What are you carrying in these bags?"

"We are carrying our school books and note books in them",both of them responded."Open them",the soldier ordered."Ok",and they began opening and soldier began checking the bags."Do you work for any Tanzeem(Organisation) and help them in transporting arms and ammuniation from one place to other?",the soldier enquired rudely.They both had heard the word Tanzeem for the first time in their lives,but hearing arms and ammunition they were a bit aware as they had seen an illustration of a gun in their book and watched these things in movies."No,they both simultaneously responded We are students".Jane Do Salae Bade Hokar Aatankwadi Banege! (Let them go,these Bastards will grow up to become terrorists).A new word "Salae"had added to their vocabulary but they didn't knew what it meant,but from the soldiers conversation"Aatankwadi"meaning a terrorist they knew this word and could infer that he had predicted that both of them were growing to turn up into terrorists.

They went home and related the whole incident to their parents and enquired about the meanings of these two words that today had been added to their lexicon by the Teacher-Soldier.Though their parents changed the subject,but they were informed that these soldiers were Indian Army and they should always respect them as they are elders.Years kept rolling on,Adnan and Arsalan both passed their matriculation with good marks and came to know that Army was fighting a virtual war with Kashmiri freedom fighters whom they termed as Terrorists but usually in the battle among these two the common man used to become cannon-fodder.

One day at dawn a police vehicle using public address system informed the people that they were under "Crackdown" and ordered all male persons to gather at the school ground.The whole locality male population assembled at the ground and army went on searching the houses with only womenfolk left behind in them.In these conditions nobody was allowed to moveout or move in from the locality as the whole area was sealed.Now army began the identification parade in which each person was supposed to stand in front of certain army vehicles in which surrendered,captured,apprehended militants or renegades were present,who would blow horn as a sign that the person was related to the insurgency,and army men would at once pounce on him and bundle him away.Adnan,Arsalan and their father all passed the test and all people were ready to leave when some soldiers caught hold of Adnan and began to push him towards their vehicle.He resisted and countinued to yell at his father and brother.

Arsalan!Arsalan!Arsalan!Save Me!Save Me!Free Me! I am innocent please let me go!Arsalan and his father ran to help adnan but in the midway were overpowered by other army personnel,but they still could hear the cries of frightened Adnan and saw him being bundled by a dozen armymen in a vehicle which sped away.Now they lost sight of the vehicle.They began to protest and cry at this injustice but were silenced by the Commanding Officer(CO) that Adnan would be released after a few hours of questioning.The CO ordered them to go home like others but they still were reluctant and begged the CO to release Adnan.He answered them in harsh terms to go home and rest.They were left with no option but to leave.They went home where Safia had prepared the lunch as noon time had arrived,but she was so stunned to hear this tragic news about her beloved son being picked up by the army.She began to think about the fate of her son,as usually nobody from army's custody was freed alive.With these sorts of apprehensions and devil designs coming up in her mind she lost consciousness and fell down with a heavy thud.

When she regained consciousness,she began to nag and coerce Shoaib to have FIR(First Information Report) filed against the army for picking up Adnan.Shoaib was reluctant and told her to be patient as the army CO had assured him that they would release Adnan in a couple of hours.From noon it was night but there was no clue of Adnan.Safia's fears grew,but Shoaib assured her that tommorrow the army would definetly release Adnan.But two days elapsed but still there was no news about Adnan.Shoaib went to the police station to file an FIR.The policemen there were non-cooperative and reluctant to file FIR against army,cited the delay of two days as reason for not not filing the FIR.Shoaib argued with them and tried to justify how complicated the case was,at last the policemen obliged him by recording his FIR.

Next day shoaib along with the Police Inspector went up to the army camp where the battalion which apprehended Adnan was residing.The CO described his helplessness by stating that all the men who had picked up had been released on the same day.So Adnan wasn't in their custody.He even ordered his subordinate to bring the file which included the names of men who had been picked up.Shoaib was shocked to witness that there was no inclusion of Adnan's name in the list.He protested by shouting that before the thousands of people army bundled Adnan in their vehicle and he(CO) himself asured him of Adnan's release,but all his shouting and pleas fell on deaf ears.The CO told him that after his release Adnan may have crossed the border to recieve arms training from Pakistan.Shoaib argued that Adnan even wasn't well aware of the alleys of his own locality,howcome he would cross to other side in such a brief period of time,but the CO ordered his men to throw Shoaib out of the camp.Shoiab then pleaded with the Inspector to record another FIR regarding the Disappearance of Adnan at the hands of army.He was not ready to record FIR against army but due to everday protests of people against Adnan's enforced disappearnce he was compelled to do so.

Meanwhile the days began to turn into months and months changed to years,but there was no news about Adnan.Everyday began with hopes of Adnan's returns but ended in sheer despair.Shoaib and Adnan ran from pillar to post,searched every possible army camp,police station,jail,interrogation centre and torture chambers located in every nook and corner of the valley but in vain as they could find no trace of Adnan.He had disaapeared in "Thin Air".In these following years Safia's health began to deteriorate and she died with hopeful sighs of meeting her son before death,but her dream was shattered completely by fate.Now the family had totally been disorganised because of the loss of the only woman.To bring it on track Shoaib decided to marry challenged by circumstances.
The step-mother of Arsalan was able to bring the family on track,and Arsalan also felt the change.This change was but short lived because she soon joined Association Of Parents Of Disappeared Persons(APDP) an amalgamation of Parents whoses sons were subjected to Enforced Disappearances at the hands of the security agencies.She began to champion Adnan's cause as if it was her own.She soon began to join seminars,rallies,protests to lend a voice to this noble cause.It was all going too well,when Arsalan came to know that her step mother received monetary benefits for the cause which she was supposed to lead.She was a voice of dissent and speaking against an Empire,only because it seemed to her the best job available for an illiterate.She used to recieve money from international human rights organisations to look after the welfare of families of Disappeared persons,but she used it to fill her own pockets.

Now when again the nightmare used to come,Arsalan would ponder whether Adnan was seeking help to save him from the clutches of Bandits in Uniform or this Bandit Queen who still was clutching to him like a parasite exploiting his name,earning laurels and building assets.Does Arsalan's cries depict his helplessness at fate which couldn't still leave him despite his Disappearence from the wordly scene?Wasn't he still Free inspite of the fact being invisible to their eyes?What were his pleas which every night he used to protest for?Arsalan couldn't understand and with these thoughts fell asleep.

Author: Mushtaq ul Haq ahmad sikandar.(The author is a student of political science at Kashmir University and can be mailed at : sikandarmushtaq@gmail.com )
~ Mushtaq ul Haq is a frequent writer and co-editor for www.koshurpinta.com

Progeny...why i was not sent to london!

"Oh Mama! I will catch you up later," said the caller and the noise of throwing down the receiver was heard by Masarat. She was thinking and pondering with herself "Was it right to send Shakeeb to London?" The next moment it occurred to her mind that it was alright and perfect decision by her and her husband Fayaz to send their ward for higher studies to a foreign land! What could have Shakeeb learnt and experienced had he opted to stay back at Kashmir for studies like rest of his friends did. He too would have became lazy, dull and unskilled like the majority of students who pursue their studies here because in most cases the educational institutions remain closed due to the political instability. Even if the educational institutions functions, but the teaching staff is absent, so they automatically become defunct. Also in Kashmir there is no literary culture, as oratory culture prevails. Even if he finished his professional degree here, then he had to run from pillar to post in search of a job as "unemployment" is a norm in our valley, Masarat continued to deliberate with herself and was convinced that she had made the right choice. She was moreover happy about the fact that her son was pursuing education in a free, liberal, tolerant and pluralistic environment, unlike her domicile one, where every innovator, intellectual, writer and thinker are tight lipped, their minds shackled, their imagination curbed with every new idea silenced and where the illiterate Mullah frightens these people with Hell and Politician with Jail.

After a couple of weeks to this incident, Shakeeb again called home. He was excited to break the surprising, shocking and sensational news to his family regarding his marriage.

Meanwhile, Fayaz came home after a long day's work. Masarat told him about Shakeeb's phone call and they both began to count days up till his master's was over, as they were desperately awaiting his return. After a couple of weeks to this incident, Shakeeb again called home. He was excited to break the surprising, shocking and sensational news to his family regarding his marriage. Masarat was stunned to hear what Shakeeb thought to bring happiness and joy to his whole clan. She couldn't speak for a couple of minutes, and when she came out of the shock, becoming conscious that she was talking on phone, she still found herself dumbfounded. In this state, she couldn't enquire and question his beloved son, "How, when, why it happened?" Shakeeb judged that his family was against his decision, but he was reluctant to change it, even if it meant severing his ties with his family. "Ok! Mama I will call you later," said the voice and dropped over the receiver. She still was holding the receiver, as tears began to swell in her eyes. Her legs begin to tremble and she could feel her whole body shaking from head to toe. She could no longer hold her body in a standing position and just fell down on the floor with a 'thud'. She tried to sit in a proper posture. In the meantime, Shoaib, her youngest son, rushed to the mother's room on hearing the heavy sound. He tried to make her comfortable by placing her on the sofa. After giving her water and rubbing her palms and toes, Shoaib rushed to call to the family doctor, but Masarat debarred him from doing so. "What happened Mama?, asked Shoaib with deep anguish in his eyes. "Shakeeb was calling and he told me that he had married", replied Masarat with a deep choking in her voice. "Bayaji (Big Brother) has married; it's a moment of joy for all of us. Was it because of this news that you became shocked? said Shoaib, with an insight of reluctance in his words. "Yes, you think it's a merry-making moment for us all. You don't know what blunder your Bayaji has committed by marrying an alien girl. He has broken his family norms and caste commitments. Were all Kashmiri girls dead, which forced him to marry there", Masarat countered non-stop, her eyes red with rage. "Oh Mama! Despite being a post-graduate your thinking still is old and rotten. Gone are the days when caste, family background or locality used to be decisive factors while tying the nuptial knot. Now it is the other way round. I think Bayaji took the right step as he couldn't find a partner of his choice in Kashmir”, added Shoaib with a stint of victory clearly depicted by his eyes. "You instead of being remorseful, reluctant and regretful about your Bayaji's actions are trying to justify his decision so shamelessly. Get out of my sight, the T.V, print, electronic media and internet has ruined your thinking and judging faculty, so you are unable to distinguish between right and wrong!" replied Masarat with her rage turning now into anger." But what is wrong in Bayaji's decision, I can't understand. If he is happy with the girl, then what is the logic in blaming his decision?" questioned Shoaib with fearful eyes. "Get out of my sight! You too are like your Bayaji. Go and marry on your own. Who am I to you? What right do I have in your lives and issues? Do whatever seems right to you? You have depicted through your actions what I mean to you? What is my worth in your lives? "Masarat's chatting turning into full fledged shouting. She lost the distinction between Shakeeb and Shoaib continued to curse them both as if both of them have committed the same crime. Shoaib left the room following her mother's dictates, and was trying to settle scores with himself as to why his mother was so angry with him. He reached to the conclusion that mother was much resentful and angry with bayaji's marriage and finding him near hand she spitted her whole anger, on him though it was the share of Bayaji but finding him absent he had to share his burnt.

 

Masarat's whole body was shivering with pain. "What plans had I made for his marriage? Even my cousin was willing to marry his daughter with Shakeeb and he had even sent his proposal!" lamented Masarat. Though he hadn't answered her cousin in affirmative, but she was much willing for this relationship. Masarat was most afraid of the comments of her acquaintances, friends and other relationships because she in social get togethers she belonged to the "Morality Sanctioning Authority" who always passed judgments on the actions and behavior of people, describing them as "civilized" or labeling  them as "deviants". Masarat knew that marriage outside one's caste, community, culture was deviation and rebellion against the prescribed norms of the society. She also inferred that only low caste and class women in England married to the foreigners as the Royal families all over the world preserved the Royal norms and Lineage. Now she too was vulnerable to the heart rendering comments passed by this "Moral Sanctioning Authority". Now she maybe debarred from the elite circle of this society and would miss the joyous moments in which she freely indulged in backbiting and making a laughing stock out of the people's mistakes. Thinking about these circumstances made her feel sick. She was impatiently waiting for Fayaz. The time seemed to run slow, at one instance she thought of going to Fayaz's office, but held herself down thinking of the consequences her action would provoke.

 

Fayaz came and Masarat unlike the routine started narrating the whole incident, at the door not even asking Fayaz to sit out of courtesy even though she knew that he was much tired." Ok! Let me sit down and sought out things", said Fayaz helplessly. "We should take the situation realistically and stop being emotional", retorted Fayaz with a veteran look in his eyes. "What realistically and practically", gnawed Masarat. "I thought you are going to take some concrete action. You would pressure Shakeeb to divorce that discreet girl whom he married childishly out of innocence", blurted Masarat with confidence in her eyes. "What! Divorce! Be Practical. Shakeeb out of Love married this girl. If we coerce or force him to abandon his love he may out of revenge abandon us, and never come home", said a resentful Fayaz. "No! No! Don't do that. I can't bear the separation of my beloved son" said Masarat with Tear swelled eyes. "but what can we do now?" questioned Masarat. "Nothing! Just Wait and Watch" answered Fayaz. We have to own his choice and that is the way to stop the deterioration from further culmination" responded Fayaz.

 

These Firangi Gauris (White Englishwomen) are so deceptive that they make innocent boys victim of their beauty and these boys are caught up in their deceptive trap, while regretting their decision for the whole life. She might have done some Black Magic on Shakeeb, thought Masarat. Masarat lost in a deep thought began to curse the day when she offered her consent to send Shakeeb to London for higher studies. That girl must have distracted Shakeeb with her looks, otherwise my boy is still a child and so innocent. These Firangi Gauris (White Englishwomen) are so deceptive that they make innocent boys victim of their beauty and these boys are caught up in their deceptive trap, while regretting their decision for the whole life. She might have done some Black Magic on Shakeeb, thought Masarat. But this was only one face of the calamity. She thought that a lot of boys and girls now-a-days go for studies to the foreign countries, in her own clan two sons of her distant acquaintance had gone for higher studies, but came back single unlike her son. She began to pressurize her mind to think more and a dozen examples of these students came to her mind. They all finished their studies but did marry back at home. Why was it her son only the solitary case of deviation? He was a hard working dedicated and intelligent student but why did he got so distracted from studies as to think about marriage. He is still too young for marriage. Has his mind stopped working when he took this drastic step without consulting us? Was he compelled for the marriage? Did he opted for pre-martial affairs which resulted in a sin and to legitimize that Sin he was left with no option but marriage?" all these questions were hunting in her mind, but she now assured herself that she would take this situation realistically as it was Shakeeb's life and he was responsible for any dire consequences he might face. Everyday she assured her mind with these kinds of justifications but her heart was still worrying for the lost cause.

 

Meanwhile six months passed and Shakeeb came back home with his newly wed spouse Safia .Masarat saw her daughter-in-law and was stunned that she wasn't so much beautiful and blonde as she thought her to be. She was more surprised by the fact that Shakeeb introduced her with a Muslim name and was wondering that were there so many Muslims in London, but soon the reality dawned on her when she came to know that Safia's real name was Sherry and was a Coptic Christian who reverted to Islam so as to marry Shakeeb. Masarat began to suspect her religiosity as she never saw her praying or uttering such words through which she could find a clue of her Islam. Masarat though was well read and Post-Graduate which was still essence of a few elite but she wasn't fluent in English as she had lost touch with this language a long time ago. So there was a language barrier between Safia and her. Also she couldn't understand her language at times as her accent was also different. She could only communicate in broken words, with Safia.

 

Safia on the other hand found herself homesick. She was longing for her motherland despite the fact that not a week had passed since their arrival. She felt herself alienated in a hostile environment where electricity and water used to vanish into vanity quite often. The internet and phone connections weren't also working properly. When she went for jogging in the morning or for shopping the whole lot of pedestrians would assemble like spectators, as if she was an alien from a distant Planet or somebody left out from the U.F.O. This staring of people made her life miserable and she opted to stay at home to escape the embarrassment. All these factors culminated to make her life a virtual Hell. She started nagging, and was always resentful with Shakeeb for not being ready to leave for England. After ten days had passed to their arrival Shakeeb went up to his parents informing them that he was leaving tomorrow. It came as surprise to both of them, Masarat was most shocked because she thought that Shakeeb had came to stay forever, but his decision came to them awesome. Masarat had thought that Shakeeb would remain here, try for a university job here to serve his people by his capabilities. But she was wrong. "But beta (Son) you have just arrived, how can you go so soon" enquired Fayaz." And what will you do there your studies are complete" Masarat added abruptly. "Safia's Dad has arranged a job for me and I have to join soon. Inshallah I will be visiting you soon", responded Shakeeb and excused himself. The day arrived and Shakeeb left his family. His parents still advising him to take care throughout the journey, keep the strangers at arms length and be vigilant about your luggage and expenses, thinking that he still was the innocent and inexperienced Shakeeb who left for studies to an alien land virginally.

 

In the meantime more than two years have passed since Shakeeb left with the promise to visit soon. He informed his parents about the birth of his daughter. His parents were much happy but a strange misery was eating up Masarat from inside which expressed itself in her irritating behaviour and depressing attitude. She was ramifying her hopes and expectations with Shakeeb which left her high and dry. She had made plans about her son's marriage, how she would adorn Shakeeb's hand with Mehandi (Bridal Colour) and then would throw open a feast where all her near and dear one's would have been invited to relish on the mouth watering Wazwan (Kashmiri Dishes prepared during marriage).When Shakeeb would have kids, how she would feed them, teach them and love to hear from them calling her Dadi (Grandmother), but all her hopes and dreams had been shattered. She had become childless despite the fact that Shakeeb was her son. She couldn't enjoy their joy and feel the delight of her daughter-in-law and the kids playing, roaming and shouting all over the house. She missed these moments much and used to weep for Shakeeb and his gamily solitarily but always prayed for their peace and safety in her Namaz (Prayers). Could Shakeeb also feel the pain and anger, Masarat encountered everyday? But she would assure herself that he was happy in what he was doing and in his happiness lay my joy, despite the fact that the phone calls and emails from Shakeeb have become much irregular and rare.

 

Instead of coming home Shakeeb invited his parents to visit England, but due to non issuance of Passport and delay in visa, this opportunity was ruined. Whenever Masarat used to enquire Shakeeb about his visit to home, he would use dilly dally tactics citing the workload as his reason for not homecoming. Shoaib who now completed his Masters from Kashmir University was now in hunt for a job. Scores of jobs came, but he refused justifying his decisions that he didn't wish to loose his talents here by working in some third class government firm. Also Shoaib had in mind that he would be earning less money for his time if he stayed back in Kashmir, thus would remain of no match to Shakeeb in the gain of materialistic luxuries. He too was trying for a big job in some foreign country, got one and flew to conquer his dreams least thinking about the condition of his parents. Masarat wished to stop Shoaib from going abroad, but Fayaz stopped her from doing so, legitimizing his cause by stating that if they don't care for us old one's why should we? Also in this materialistic world no one was anyone's all are the worshippers of materialism. Fayaz who had retired from his service some months back would now stay at home looking after the garden and reading newspapers. Now the world seemed only to move around the house and in between them. Shakeeb and Shoaib would call only when they remembered that there were parents back home.

 

Masarat inferred from their behaviour that they only called because they wished to know whether they still were alive or dead. She lambasted were it for this reason that parents prayed for sons who couldn't even shoulder their coffin. They too were growing old and old age brings with itself a lot of diseases and sickness. Old Age in itself is a worst form of sickness. Nobody was there to look after them. Have they given birth and reared these two sons for this day? She remembered how she and Fayaz would remain awake for the whole night when they were ill so that child would sleep undisturbed and to give the medicine dosage properly. Now there was nobody to look after them! Was it the decision to send Shakeeb abroad for studies, his marriage, race for materialism, what people called Westernization or were it changing social values and norms which made children post emotional so as to leave behind their old-aged parents for their cherished dreams. What kind of goals, aims and dreams were these, where even the honorable relations like Parents couldn't carve a niche for themselves", Masarat pondered and wept over her helplessness.

Author: Mushtaq ul Haq ahmad sikandar.

(The author is a student of political science at Kashmir University and can be mailed at : sikandarmushtaq@gmail.com )

~ Mushtaq ul Haq is a frequent writer and co-editor for www.koshurpinta.com , besides he also writes for www.theintellectualonline.info
  

Things to do this Ramadhan...

Eat, drink and be moderate.

Almost all of us do it - once Iftar time hits, we just keep plowing food and drink into our mouths till it's hard to move afterwards. And those of us who do it know this is totally contrary to the spirit of Ramadan, through which we're supposed to learn self-control not self-indulgence. Let's try to stick to the Prophetic rule on eating: fill our stomachs with one-third food, one-third water and one-third breathing space, even in Ramadan.

Spend in charity.
The Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, was always generous but even more so in Ramadan. Let's open our hearts and dig a little deeper in our wallets this year. Even less than a dollar a day adds up. Whatever you can give, it's the intention that counts.
Memorize 4 new Surahs.
Memorizing the Quran often seems like a daunting task. But the key is doing it in small bites. Since there are four weeks in Ramadan, try to memorize one new Surah a week. Start off with a short, easy one. Once you've started, you'll build momentum and may even want to memorize a longer one the following week.

Go to Tarawih prayers.
Post-Iftar, the first urge is to sleep after an exhausting day. But try your best to head out to the masjid for Tarawih prayers. Praying alone is wonderful, but doing it in congregation is fantastic. The community spirit is part of Ramadan's blessings. Don't miss it this year. If going every day is not possible, try going at least once week.

Full recitation of Quran.
Call the local masjid and find out which day the Imam will be finishing the recitation of the Quran in prayer. Attend to not only hear part of the Quran's recitation in prayer, but also participate in the heart-rending Duas that follow it.

Stop swearing and backbiting.
It's hard not to shoot our mouths off when someone's upset us. Whether we utter those four-letter words or backbite about someone to our family and friends, we know this isn't the God-approved way of letting off steam. In Ramadan, when we want to build our spirituality, we've got to wage Jihad (strive) against our bad habits.

Try this:
get a box and every time you catch yourself swearing or backbiting put some money in it. It could be a buck or less. The point is to choose an amount that makes it feel like punishment. At the end of the month send the money to a charity or buy a gift for the person whom you've backbitten the most against.

Call your relatives.
You'd think that given the easy access to email, competitive long-distance calling rates, phone cards, etc. these days, we'd keep in touch with family and friends more often. But the opposite seems to be the case, as we get caught up in life's busyness.
Strengthening ties with family members and keeping in touch with friends is part of our way of life and an act Allah is very pleased with. This Ramadan, call family and friends or at least email them a Ramadan card and ask them how their fasting is going.

Read Quran at least 5 minutes a day.
Even if you feel you've got absolutely no time, set a timer or the alarm on your cell phone and find a relatively quiet place. You can read the first page of the Quran you open or follow a sequence. The choice is yours. The point is simply to connect with God through His revelation in the month of the Quran. Read Quran with proper tajweed and then try to ponder on its meaning.

Forgive everyone who has hurt you.
Still got a festering wound from the fight with your friend last year? Still upset about something your spouse said during a heated argument? Or are you still bitter about the way your parents sometimes treated you as a kid? Let go of the anger and pain this Ramadan and forgive those who have hurt you. Forgiving someone is not only good for the body, but it's also great for the soul. And in Ramadan, ten days of which are devoted to Allah's forgiveness, shouldn't we lesser beings forgive too? If you find it very difficult to forgive everyone, forgive at least three people.

Please forgive me too this Ramadhan if i have ever hurted anybody or anyone's sentiments please please please forgive me too.. (shakeeb)

~with good intentions
written by: Shakeeb Ashai.

Learn MBA In Pinta Style.

Since i am going to join MBA classes soon, i decided why not start giving some management classes on my blog too. Although i haven't learn anything about management so far but lets examine and analyze what our beloved "PINTA" knows about management in Koshurpinta Style.

Corporate Governance

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow and asked him: "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Q: What can we learn from this?

A: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.

Ambition

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy. "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Q: What can we learn from this?

A: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Business Ethics

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said: "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions." The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go." The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money." And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Q: What can we learn from this?

A: You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do.

Corporate Communication

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!

Q: What can we learn from this?

A1: Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
A2: Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
A3: Most importantly: when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut.

The 3 biggest Corporate Lies:

1. 
   
   
   We have an entrepreneurial spirit here.
   
   
   
   
2. 
   
   
   People are our greatest resource.
   
   
   
   
3. 
   
   
   We say 'let the marketplace decide'.
   
   
   
   

Alec Smart said: " The Bad News is: In a recent Acquisition Frenzy, I purchased one of my own companies.The Good News is: The stock went up! "

written by: Shakeeb Ashai.

A Near Death Experience.

Reader's Digest October 2003 carries an article on Page 80 by the name, "After Life". This article deals with stories of those persons who were declared dead but by some miracle they came back to life again. Robert Milham is one such person who says his heart stopped during a heart attack: "The pain was gone. I was suspended over my body. I was looking at myself lying on the stretcher and they were putting paddles on me". After a life of selfishness, he says his brush with death made him a more giving person. My case is also same but somewhat different. I am an inhabitant of the Valley of Kashmir known over the world for its beauty but acquainted with me as a beautiful prison or awesome concentration camp.

I as usual was going to tuition situated at a walkable distance from my home. As usual in the streets of Kashmir para-military, military and other counter insurgency forces are seen and we the inhabitants have got used to their sight. At that time I was stopped by a para military trooper. He ordered me to open my bag. I did as ordered and he started frisking me. "Daadi itni lambi kyon rakhi hai? Pir Baba ho kya?" (Why have you grown such a long beard? Are you a saint?). I said nothing. When he was satisfied he asked for my identity card. When I put my fingers in my pocket and started searching for my wallet which also contained my Identity card, I became aware of the fact that I had forgot my wallet at home. I told the trooper about my helplessness and tried to impress upon him that I was only a student and a law abiding citizen. I told him that I reside nearby pointing the direction towards my colony.

This didn't impress him and he ordered other student walking nearby to stop. He told the student where do you reside? He told in the same colony. Then pointing towards me he told the student that do you know him? He answered in negative. The trooper then became furious. "Mujhe Dhoka dene chala hai?" (Are you trying to deceive me?). I said apologizing: "I reside at the same destination which I told you". "Chal gaadi mein baith" (Go and sit in that vehicle). Now when he pointed over the vehicle I came to know from the vehicle that he was not an ordinary CRPF trooper but belonging to the notorious RR (Rashtriya Rifles) against whom majority of human rights violations are attributed. I tried to plead my ignorance. "Card kay baghair kyon hai. Agar koi tum ko maar dalega to kya hoga. Saala student hokar bhi rule maloom nahi". (Why are you without an identity card? If someone kill you who will identify you then. Even being a student you bastard don't know the rules). I tried to persuade him to let me go but all in vain. I told him I was getting late for tuition classes but he didn't paid any heed. He ordered me to go and sit in the vehicle. I did as I was ordered.

All thoughts of the past came ringing in my head. I thought of my parents, siblings, friends and relationships. I prayed to Allah to erase my sins as I came to believe that I would meet my Lord in just a couple of days. I began to think how these troopers were going to behave? Will they kill me and label me as a militant and this would be the best option for them as my bearded appearance will justify their claim. Will they torture me and release me? Or will I be subjected to enforced disappearance like thousands others and this would be most torturous for my family. I began to mourn my death. After some days my dead body will be handed over to my parents saying he was killed in an unknown operation. My killing will drew a lot of condemnation. My family would publish my obituary as "We regret to announce the matyrdom of Shaheed Mushtaq-ul-Haq Ahmad Sikandar at the hands of RR troops. He was loved by all and leaves behind him a large number of friends and admirers to mourn his loss. He was presently persuing his BA second year at Amar Singh College, Srinagar. His untimely death has left a void in our lives. He was always spreading fragrance by his jovial, humourous nature but fate crumbled this young flower which was yet to bloom fully. His funeral rites will take place at 11 AM today". At the bottom of the page would be an announcement: "Women are requested not to bring any kind of food item or fruits with them". I felt very sorry for myself and for all my friends. I was most concerned about my parents especially my mother who couldn't bear the shock of my death, I thought.

My friends will come to know about my death later. I have a friend Wani who is an early riser and insists that the paper must be available early in the morning even if it is not looked at. His father will bring the paper and Wani will scan on headlines and get to have a shower and when he will be having his breakfast when his eyes will fell on news of lesser importance. When he will get to page 3, he will stop and shout that Oh! Mushtaq my friend is dead. His parents will tell him to get ready to visit my house but Wani shrugging his shoulders would say, "I have to be at college by an hour as today are my practicals. We will Insha-Allah pay a visit at evening. Wani will be occupied all day by his engineering practicals and his family will stay at home.

Mehran, my other friend who is pursuing his architecture studies at Pune will come to know about my death after he will visit his home in his vacations. When Rouf will come to know about my death he will not close at any excuse his repairing shop of mobile phones. His parents will say, "Will you close your shop today?". I am afraid I can't just close as I had a consignment to be delivered today. If I have any time, I will drop in on the way or we can call on Sunday. Rouf will not come nor will many others for whom sorrow at my demise I had already felt sorrowful.

At 11 O Clock a little crowd will collect at my graveyard. Aijaz my friend who didn't believe in attending funerals but he had to hang around as a sort of social obligation. It will be distasteful to him. Aijaz and my other friend Shakeeb who also had the same ideology that death is an unimportant event. Aijaz will tell him where are you going. I am planning to drop at Coffee Arabica. Actually I also have to visit there for an appointment with my girl friend Anjum, will be the answer of Javed.

Just then a Mullah will come to perform the rites and I would be laid solitary in my grave covered with tons of soil. All are going to weep for a week and then I will slowly disappear from their memories but the eternal loss will be borne only by my family.

I was thinking about my girlfriend Aneesa, what she will do after my death. We promised to be only each others'. And when I am gone she would really have to marry somebody else. I began to think of Faheem who always tried to win the love of Aneesa for himself. But every time Aneesa let him down because she loved only me and me from the core of her heart. But now I am gone there were chances of winning her favor by Faheem. This thought was sending chill down my spine.

I was obsessed in these thoughts when a voice made me aware of my unconsciousness. Bahar Aaja (Come Out) ordered the trooper outside, I saw 8-10 of my tuition mates who had stopped and inquired from the trooper about me and told him that I was their friend. Then the trooper believed me and let me go on one condition that I will always carry my Identity Card with me.

I was among the fortunate ones to get out so I am able to pen down my NDE (Near Death Experience).

Author : Mushtaq ul Haq Ahmad Sikander.
(The author is a student of political science at Kashmir University and can be mailed at : sikandarmushtaq@gmail.com )

You know you are a Kashmiri When...

You know your Kashmiri when...

Chai must be had at least 4 times a day, in the morning, for lunch, at 4, and when you come back from work.
Weddings last for at least a fortnight !
All the women at your parties try to see who can talk the loudest.
You can hear their laughter and even the voh-vohs from the basement.
You meet a whole new line of families at Kashmiri gatherings.

You are going to be a daakhtar [doctor].
You drink nun-chai and eat kulchas.
You can pronounce tchzamun/ tchzarvan
Big noses/ Hooked noses run in your DNA, and if somehow you end up with a different one- people refuse to acknowledge you as a Kashmiri.

You know the correct pronunciations to the song, Rind Posh Maal...
When You know many kashmiri phrases such as
Trath Payin
Kya Gowm
Balai Lagey
Shikas Lad
You are the most politically aware kid in your school.
Your brother owns somekind of expensive video game player.
You think you can sing, but you really cant.
When any food you eat is subjected to the wazwaan test, which it inevitably fails. :)
When the first thing you wait for in the morning is to get the tchzot, bakerkhaani, kulcha etc. from the kaandhur's shop.
When double-tchzot is given to the spoilt brats, cuz they wont eat the traditional breads.
If you happen to pass all the uncles, you always hear them debating about Kashmiri politics.
Your knees have ached after hours of sitting around a thasanaari eating food.
You've spied on the wazaa's at your wedding before.
Everyone is your aunty and everyone is you uncle.
You have atleast once rode a crazy horse in Pahelgam or Gulmarg or have heard someone's tales about it.
You have been to Oberoi Palace for dinner.
You have been to Broadway for lunch.
Your cousin is getting married this summer, so you have to spend all year planning your outfit.

Wannabe Kashmiri's are not cool.
You hear bomb blasts outisde, and you panic. Your aunty reassures that they wont blast here and goes along with her daily chores. For some reason now, you are more scared.
You are always in search of the "vyaes"- the bone marrow :P
No meal is a meal without rice.
No meal is a meal without meat.
You never felt the need for having deserts after an enormous wazwaan.

You think you are the only person competent enough to call yourself an Aryan.
Kashmiri is the perfect code language in public places because NOBODY knows it.
You've grown up being extremely proud of you culture.
You are stylish.
When you are somehow related to that other Kashmiri.
You wear a sweater over your salwaar kameez.
When kashmir fights consist of going "ey ey ey"

Any news piece on Kashmir catches your eyes within 5 milliseconds of your flipping through the newspaper.
You don't know / cant find the Hindi/ English word for Monj-Haakh.
When your house is filled with Samovars.
You wonder what a samovar is doing at your Iranian/Russian friends house.
People are puzzled when you speak kashmiri.
You wonder why.

You prefer Shah Rukh Khan to Hrithik Roshan because he looks- oh so kashmiri and he is so called muslim!!! similar is the case with cricket you support Pakistan because they are muslim no matter how bad they play!

When all the Kashmiri woman talk, no one can hear what anyone else is saying.
Your mom walked to Presentation Convent together with [insert friends name here]'s mom when they were kids.
You find it hilarious when your watch Kashmiri soap operas and they are trying to act romantic.

When Sweety sweety drai duty is your favorite theme song.

Punctuality is for Caucasians
Your dad told you that you were the prince/princess of Kashmir when you were a kid.
You grew up believing him.
You know all about the India-Pakistan separation.
You are close friends with Kashmiri Political Figures.
Your mom doesn't let your dad go into politics.
People respond with "where's that?" when you tell them where your from.

You made a Kashmir stall at your school's cultural fests.
Your house is filled with Kashmiri rugs and furniture.
You are sure to bring in the kashmiri connection to anything and everything.
You are irritated when your french manicure is stained yellow from the wazwaan food.
When you dont own any naked baby photos, but have many photos of you in a traditional kashmiri dress taken in NishatBagh.

You eat softies at Zero Bridge.Your dad ate softies at Zero Bridge in college.
Your whole family knows the guy who owns the Softy shop at zero bridge.

When you have rode a shikara on dal lake, and then your driver got into a fight with the guys cuz he was asking for 5 more rupees.

(If you live abroad) You wake up on Saturday mornings because your mom is calling somebody in kashmir and even the neighbors can hear what she's talking about.

You go to sleep while the dogs howl to the moon.
You are always glued to the TV for every single cricket match and then complain that the captain did no good job.
You click 'add to dictionary' when spell check cant recognize your name.
You do this to every computer you lay your hands on.

Inputs: Shakeeb Ashai

Further Additions: Aditya Dhar (facebook)

- You know u r a kashmiri when u enter ur house and ur Mom says- Aakha Tchu.
- You go to a Khandar and some strange old lady with a bushy hairy mole (just below her nose) will Kiss you right left and center and say- Mai ma zaanakh, bu che chain maas.
- In those same Khandar's U will see Kumbh Ka Mela next to Roghan Josh and Kaliya stalls. Then everyone will make a heap of it on their plates as well as in Dust-Bins.(As an experiment we should invite Menka Gandhi to a kashmiri wedding- Apne Hathyaar chod Bhaag khadi hogi)
- This is the way Our Uncles will always pronounce the following words
Six- SIKIS
Construction- Canastruction.
Help- Helap
- Our relatives Love using Kashmiri words while talking to someone non kashmiri - Raste mai mera toh myada he kharaab ho gaya, Taichi taichi lag gai.
- Literal Translation of Kashmiri Abuse:-
Che pai Ghuss Trath- May a Bolt of Crap fall on U.(Pure Genius)

Alec Smart asked :Do Kashmiri have a tag 'Kashmir' stamped on their forehead?
Shakeeb Replied : A Kashmiri can be recognized from many in a crowd if you cant recognize listen to their pronunciation.

Asrar Murder Case Solved| Orkut, Girl and Cable TV to blame

The Editorial Of 16th July Greater Kashmir.. Written exactly as I would have...

True to adage ‘give credit to the disagreeable’ it needs to be agreed that the state police with some of its members having earned it disrepute has more than once proved its professional competence. Police on Tuesday claimed of having solved the sensational murder of Asrar Mushtaq a youth from Maisuma, who had gone missing on 3 July 2009 and four days later his body was found near Sheikh Colony in Mallakah. The boy according to police was murdered by two of his buddies and the cause for the murder was a girl student. Both the missing and killing of the body had provoked widespread demonstration first in the uptown where people had suspected hand of some government agency in the mysterious death of the youth and then it had spilled over to other parts of the city. There were widespread protests all over the city against the mysterious death of the student. Students in various colleges not only boycotted the classes but also took out protest rallies in many parts of the city. The incident had caused violence in many parts of the city with youth indulging in stone pelting and dings dong battles with the police and the paramilitary forces. Many youth with serious injuries were wounded. The disturbances not only affected the daily wagers but also took a toll of the state economy. It is not first instance when a simple crime by an individual or a couple of people have triggered massive public protests. A similar situation had arisen when an auto rickshaw driver from the same locality had gone missing and was later found dead in Bemina or a trader from a posh area was done to death by one of his nearest relatives. Such incidents of crime call for an introspection from people, pulpit and politicians. There is need to understand that if people are not getting hypersensitive. And are working against their own interests."There are some parents with lots of easy money that inflate the purses of their children without knowing where and how they were spending that money. It is parents who are by and large responsible for the waywardness of their children." The murder of the Maisuma youth has many a lesson in it which need be learnt coolly by all section of our society. It has a lesson for people, pulpit and police. The incident which in many ways is similar to one that occurred about two months back in a posh area where two aberrant youth ran over a car on a girl student and killed her. The incident at that time had pricked conscience of a section of society who had reacted but as has always happened in our city the response proved effervescent. It died after the activists and women NGO’s who had agitated over the incident came under arc lamps of publicity-perhaps what they wanted. There is need for launching sustained movement against moral degradation in a section of our youth more particularly from the affluent and well-to-do families. True both parents and priests have a role to play but more importantly it is the parents who will have to monitor the activities of their children. There are some parents with lots of easy money that inflate the purses of their children without knowing where and how they were spending that money. It is parents who are by and large responsible for the waywardness of their children. There is need for starting a reformative movement in the educational institutions for reforming the new generation and putting them on much needed linear tract. The lesson for the police is that it has been but for its credibility crises that such cases of crimes assume the dimensions of public movement and bring lots of miseries to the people of the state. Police in the state will have to work hard to improve its acceptability with people.
The incident also has an important lesson for common people. Should we allow such simple individualistic crimes to take entire society as hostage? The incident should also stir the conscience of the political workers espousing a cause that if by observing strikes on such individual incidents they were not working against their own cause. The knee-jerk and imprudent reactions have always proved counterproductive to the collective interests of the people. Much before reacting to such incident the political leadership needs to think twice before giving a protest call or supporting any strike by an individual. In fact they should stand up against the vested interests that always remain on a hunt to exploit such incidents.

Alec Smart said: " Oh No!! I am on orkut as well and I blog on very serious issues. Are they going to kill me next"


With good intentions,
Qazi Mamoon
Qazi Mamoon is co editor Koshurpinta.com and can be reached at:
www.eldinbleze.blogspot.com
www.qazi.synthasite.com

Interesting stories of the sick!

Kashmir has been a witness to all sorts of medicinal practices. Just narrate your symptoms to one Kashmiri and he will come up with a long list of 'What-to-do' and 'What-not-to-do' besides coming up with a perfect diet plan commonly called as 'Parhez'. But long gone are the days when there were the Hakeem's to cure us; now we are at the good humor of the local doctors. Our beloved GMC is busy in producing doctors every year- the doctors who have the Kashmiri blood flowing through their veins. I recall something which Prof. Mir Bashir used to say often. (Pity now I have stopped going there)

“The students who are presently studying in GMC don't know what it takes to be a doctor. Instead of reading the book Grey's Anatomy which has detailed information on everything, they prefer a smaller book by an Indian author-Chaurasia. A doctor is supposed to know everything about your body. But imagine the same doctor who somehow earned his MBBS (by cramming from the already cut down book by Chaurasia) sitting in front of you and telling that he will your surgeon.”

As Bashir Sir says, “Yeli mohalla menz che pakaan yimm Ha che Thawaan nari peth apron te mohalla walen hawaaan roub”

~They put their aprons on the forearms when they move in their locality such that the other people will begin to respect them.

But before I jump into the depths of this post here something which you might have heard of..

If something starts happening in your tummy, the area around stomach and the intestines, ahmm-I am pleased to tell you that “Garmi chai gamech”-- Heating has happened.

Then there is the endless parade of the special Kashmiri Chai (nun' Chai) into your tummy to fight the heat culprits and make you well again.

Speaking of the Kashmiri explanations, the loss of appetite or weight, general weakness, abdominal pain and many other non specific symptoms has been attributed to 'naaf dallun', best translated as the movement of the naaf.Speaking of the Kashmiri explanations, the loss of appetite or weight, general weakness, abdominal pain and many other non specific symptoms has been attributed to 'naaf dallun', best translated as the movement of the naaf. But what is naaf. Naaf is nothing but the 'centre of gravity' of an individual. Whatever the explanation, patients with these symptoms are usually treated by the expert on the subject called as the 'naaf mae'trawun woul'. The very title suggests as if the naaf had moved from its original position which was being remeasured and re adjusted. The gentleman usually a peer puts his heel or a warm cup of water on the belly button of the patient and press hard. Simultaneously he would chant some verses; sometimes even a green twig is taken and slowly stirred in the cup.. And yes, somehow the patient gets cured.

So has anyone imagined the phenomena of displaying medicine bottles on the window sills. The Kashmiris with their 'self-pity' attitude consider it better to display the medicines prescribed to them by the 'Doctor Saheb'.

Not only does it does it spoil the medicine and make it unfit for consumption but it also helps bring supplies to the household.

It is also worth mentioning the story narrated to me by Dr. Muhammad Yahya Alvi MRCP consultant Physician. After his appointment as a doctor he started his private practice in Nawapora in downtown (popularized as She hare-Khans by one ordinary newspaper). A middle aged man with stomach ache consulted him for which he was prescribed an antacid preparation in liquid form.

But a koshur should get a full value of his fees. And there is no power on earth which can stop him from doing so.. So what if the other patients are waiting. He started asking about 'parhez'

'Be hekhe' haz zamut dod khyeth?”-{Can I eat 'Born Milk' (curd I mean)}

“Yea”, came the reply from Dr. Alvi.

“Karnai haz kine kaerith?”-{Unboiled or Boiled}

“Kareth”-{Boiled}

Seeming very happy with the answer he headed towards the door but stopped and turned back.

“Doctor Zamut Dod is NOT boiled!”

Dr. Alvi replied, “Why the hell did you then ask?”

The experienced doc thought that he had seen the last of him when he moved out of the room to reenter after 10 seconds waving the prescription in his hand and asked ,

"And what do I do with this?"

By this time Dr. Alvi's patience was on the limit of exhaustion and he replied,”Nael traw(Put it round your neck) Please go and make a Taweez (amulet) out of it..”

Many years later Dr Alvi after returning from his overseas stint, which included a few years in the UK, was confronted by the same gentleman who stated that, “ I saw you some years ago and you gave me a liquid for my stomach. The pain went after I used the medicine for a few days.. In addition,

I made a Taweez of the prescription which I wore round my neck during this time. I have been symptom free all along until a few months ago, when I lost the Taweez and the pain has returned. Could you please write the same prescription for me, so that I could use the same medicine and wear the prescription round my neck.

He came back a week later and happily reported that he had improved a lot and that all was well now. Dr. Alvi asked for the prescription and he showed it as it was like a Taweez round his neck and said, "Just what you had asked me to do with it" I said, "Did you take the medicines?" "Which medicines? You never gave me any" he replied promptly. At this point he was sure if he told the guy that he had done wrong he would be shattered so Dr. Alvi told him, "Well done now keep it their for the next 11 days which will make it 21 days then after Fajar Prayer drop it with writing down in a stream and watch it disappear and you will never get the disease again"

Alec Smart said: " If Calpol is given for headaches, does that mean we give zangpol for legaches "

Original posted at : http://eldinbleze.blogspot.com/2008/05/interesting-stories-of-sick-i.html

written by : Qazi Mamoon