Showing posts with label laila. Show all posts
Showing posts with label laila. Show all posts

Monday, February 28, 2011

Laila forces me to Lie! hmm...

Marriage is a great institution. I mean, really. I have huge respect for it. While I got to agree that the driving institute where I learnt my driving does give a tight fight…the institution of marriage comes a definite first.
I will do anything to keep my wife’s and people’s faith in this institution called marriage.
Even lie to my wife.
You perhaps just let out a gasp: “Lie to wife?” If you did…you are probably a woman. Or an unmarried man. If you just let out a smirk, and uttered: “Don’t we all?,” you are the scheming, plotting husband who doesn’t need a lesson in safe-guarding the institution of marriage.
But you know…really, I am not to be blamed. What is a self-respecting, handsome, 24-year-old man expected to do when he is surprised at 11.30 pm with a question such as: “If I die, will you re-marry?”
Let me break it up for you.
Last Sunday….after trying our best for an hour, we finally managed to make our discussion compelete and sleep at 10.30 pm. 
From 10.30 pm to 10.45 pm, we lay in bed, in a dark room, facing the ceiling… It was a battle of the sexes. Finally, I had to speak up. I asked: “”Slept?
“Nope!” Laila said. My wife doesn’t generally speak loudly….but when its night, and the room is dark…her voice can sometimes ring in the ears for up to 90 seconds.
After 90 seconds, I uttered: “Hmmm…”
“What hmmm…?” That was Laila again.
Can somebody tell me…why is it that only the man should initiate? Why not the woman?
Since now the onus of replying to Laila’s question “What hmmm…?” was on me,
I replied: “Simply hmmm…”
Laila quickly responded: “Better be simply hmmm…”
Another 5 minutes of silence followed. If you thought waiting outside a public toilet to take a dump, when somebody was inside is torture….let me tell you, waiting for the right moment when you are lying down in bed with your wife is a bigger torture. In the former you know the guy inside is going to come out sometime or the other….but in my case…there was this good chance that Laila would sleep off.
After five minutes, I said: “Very silent huh?”
“Obviously. Its 10.15 pm and everybody is trying to sleep.”
“You are also trying to sleep?” I expressed my shock.
“Obviously. Tomorrow is Monday, and we need to start early.”
“Hmm…I was thinking, maybe we can play some golf?” I don’t know if I have told you earlier, but we Ashai's are very persistent. We don’t give up till we get what we want.
“shakeeb, I am too tired. BTW, what do you plan to do with your iPhone once you buy HTC Desire HD?”
“Well, I was planning to give it to my mother. She has been wanting to change her mobile.”
Considering the situation, it was the wrong answer. I should have said: “You can use it if you want.” But I had already spoken to my mother and told her that I would be passing on the iPhone to her.
“iPhone for a 45 year old lady? What if I take it and we give the mobile I am using to you mother?”
I wasn’t new to this. Many a times, just before tee-off time Laila had asked for what she wanted and got it. This was no different.
“Sure, Laila.”
I knew I couldn’t live without Golf, but my mother could manage without an iPhone.
“So, Golf now?” I asked confidently.
“One more thing…if I die, will you marry somebody else?”
In the dark, I could see Laila turning towards me…trying to catch my expressions. I tried to hold back a smile…but couldn’t….so turned the other way.
“No Laila. How can I even think of sharing my life with another woman?”

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

eMail conversation between Me n Laila

Before going through this post consider that this is year 2022, i am married from last 5 years, we have a daughter of 3 years ...

Here is an actual conversation that happened between my wife laila and me. Please understand that to make it an interesting read I have included a few fight scenes, a few romance scenes and a few song and dance sequences.


Date: 7 January, 2022
Time: 7.00 pm IST
From: Laila [Laila@lifeclickz.in]
To: shakeeb [shakeeb@lifeclickz.in]

Subject: Late?

Are you going to be late today too?

Regards,
Laila

———X——–X———

Date: 7 January, 2022
Time: 7.09 pm IST
From: shakeeb [shakeeb@lifeclickz.in]
To: Laila [Laila@lifeclickz.in]

Subject: Re: Late?

Yes sweetheart. What about you? You too…late today? ;-)

Cheers,
shakeeb

———X——–X———

Date: 7 January, 2022
Time: 7.15 pm IST
From: Laila [Laila@lifeclickz.in]
To: shakeeb [shakeeb@lifeclickz.in]

Subject: Re: Re: Late?

Yes sweetheart.

BTW, hope you have dropped the cheque, sorted out the heater, and taken the DD in my father’s name?

*Didn’t like the sarcasm in your mail.

Regards,
Laila

———X——–X———

Date: 7 January, 2022
Time: 7.29 pm IST
From: shakeeb [shakeeb@lifeclickz.in]
To: Laila [Laila@lifeclickz.in]

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Late?

I was not at all sarcastic. Was just enquiring…for our daughter pari will be home alone till we reach.

*Yes, taken a DD for your father.

Cheers,
shakeeb

———X——–X———

Date: 7 January, 2022
Time: 7.15 pm IST
From: Laila [Laila@lifeclickz.in]
To: shakeeb [shakeeb@lifeclickz.in]

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Late?

I didn’t like the way you reduced the DD for my father to a mere footnote.

BTW, I wanted to know what time you will be reaching coz I want you to have a word with our 3-year-old daughter tonight.

Regards,
Laila

———X——–X———

Monday, October 25, 2010

why i have never had a girl friend | owais wani

First things first , I don’t have a girl friend primarily because girls don’t like me. Now after shrugging off the responsibility of stating the obvious . I , for the benefit of my readers would like to go into the lesser known , lesser obvious and more intellectual reasons( which naturally makes them less acceptable)


I have always been devoid of fascinations and deams. When I was in kindergarten I didn’t want toys . when I was in primary classes I didn’t want video games. When I grew little older I didn’t want a bike . when I got into the “10+2” stage I didn’t want good grades. And , as expected by now , all throughout these years I didn’t think about having a girlfriend.



Modern day wisdom and hence pre-planning is not something associated with me. As such I could never hope of getting into a relation with the notion of leaving it with the it-didn’t-work-out excuse. This ,to my mind , is another strong reason of my failure on this front.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Celebrating Eid with Laila...

The blog post is being written after attaining permission from Laila, a 22 year old girl from Srinagar (studying in Delhi), whom I met up on this Eid.Don’t go googling for Laila because, the name has been changed on request.we people know each other since long via orkut / mig33 / koshurpinta.com.

She being the only person who was willing to meet me on this Eid, We agreed to meet at Town Square shopping Mall in GogjiBagh. The meet up time was to be 12.30 p.m. and we were to go for lunch.

I told my brother that I had an important meeting and wanted the car shining from both inside and outside. While my car was being washed by haseeb, I also took bath (I generally do), put on my costliest Sweater T-shirt & got into my only blue jeans.

I called up Laila...

“I am about to leave my house. Where in Town Square Mall will I find you?”

“You will find me waiting in my Honda City, just outside Time Square Mall. If you are fine, I would rather have my lunch outside somewhere.” She sure sounded like a woman that knows what she wanted. As it always happens with me, when a woman is involved, I agree.

I called her again after five minutes. “A grey colored Honda city, you said?” I asked.

“Yes. Why?” She responded.

Monday, November 02, 2009

A Lonely Desperate Man - Shakeeb

Have you ever been desperate? If you are a lady, you probably DON’T know how it feels…but a man will understand. A man, who is not so handsome, dark and makes no sense to pretty girls will understand it better. Just in case you don’t know, I am that no so handsome man, dark and make no sense to girls…somebody like GB Shaw.

Some of you might argue that GB Shaw made no sense to the girls because he was intelligent. But that’s not the point I am debating here.

Anyway, I have been home alone for the last 25 days. My Parents has been away since October 20 and my girl friend (Laila) has been away on assignments ever since (how I hate working girlfriends!). Thanks to these thankless souls I have been having a lonely existence.

Today 1st November i realized the importance of someone who will look after me who will care for me who will love me in my life. without that person i will be a lonely desperate man.

Here is how a desperate, lonely man’s average day goes:

6.35 a.m.:
Get up and check the phone first. See if the girl friend called you while you were asleep. Why didn’t she call? Has she found a boyfriend? Check the missed calls. What if she called late in the night and you missed it? As a last resort, check if the wife has left any missed calls. Pointless, I know. Why would a wife leave a missed call late in the night? Wouldn’t she be snoring?

7.00 a.m.:
Check mobile again. What if the girl friend called when you were in the loo reading the newspaper.

7.20 a.m.:
Debate if one has to make tea. For it means, three utensils will get soiled and will have to be washed – the pan, the sieve and the ceramic cup. Eventually one makes tea and looks at the mobile again – this time for missed calls.

8.00 a.m.:
Sit in front of the desktop and see if there are any new mails. After the gmail account, try the hotmail account and then the Yahoo account. The last mail in Yahoo account is at 12.30 a.m., which you have already seen. It is the one about ‘how to give complete pleasure to the woman in your life,’ and you had already responded saying there were none to be seen around.

8.15 a.m.:
Wonder if you really have to take bath because no one will know if you didn’t. Decide to just brush your teeth – and that too because Pepsodent Mint was bought yesterday and you are keen to know how it tastes. Try eating a squeeze of Pepsodent Mint tooth paste and find out that the froth (or is it foam?) is more than that in a Close Up paste.

8.25 a.m.:
Come out of the washroom feeling happy that you didn’t have to take bath. Dry the towel outside anyway because you don’t want the neighbors to suspect that you didn’t take bath.

8.45 a.m.:
Lock the door hoping to bring along a girl (or a boy) in the evening for some company. Before you lock and turn your brain lets you know that it is not going to happen. So feel sad and depressed.

8.50 a.m.:
Sit in the car and wonder who to call during the 30 minute drive to the University. Think of girls in the department. Wonder if the girl in the department would be engaged or not. Wonder if her Brother would end up pick up the call? Anyway, try her number and find out that she is already talking to somebody – her boyfriend perhaps.

9.05 a.m.:
Reach the university car park. Try hard. Anybody who can be called? Decide that even a boy is fine as long as he picks up the phone. He doesn’t pick up the phone. Console self that he must be driving.

9.15 a.m. to 7.30 p.m.:
Spend the whole day thinking if you will get somebody to spend the evening with. After 5.30 p.m. decide that even a man will do. After 7.00 p.m. decide that even somebody about 45 years of age will do. At 7.30 p.m. – when you reach home – realize that even a plastic doll will do.(just for the sake of company)

8.00 p.m.:
While opening the door, wonder if it would have been better if you were a girl. It would have been child’s play to get a boy home. A nudge here, a wink there….that is all one would have required.

8.30 p.m.:
Wonder if you can call that girl who once said she liked your funny articles on koshurpinta.com. Was she engaged? Did she sound as if she was interested in you? No idea. Plan dropped because didn’t want to be confronted by an upset boyfriend.

9.00 p.m.:
Nothing like a fried chicken to give you company.

10.00 p.m.:
See if the romantic novels collection you have been building over the years still looks exciting. Find out that you have outgrown your collection and need something more contemporary. Try reading a paragraph or two...

10.15 p.m.:
Turn on the PC.Find out a site called http://www.facebook.com , then switch over to orkut , then twitter, then so on...

11:00 p.m:
Pray to Almighty that my parents would find a perfect match (Laila) for me and i will soon get married so that i cnt be as much lonely and desperate as i was 2day.

12 midnight:
Hit the bed - a lonely, desperate man.