Dear Deception

Arsalan!Arsalan!Save Me!Save Me!
These heart rendering cries woke up Arsalan from his deep slumber in the middle of night.From the past several months he was getting this nightmare frequently.Adnan and Arsalan were two brothers who grew up together during the miserable times of 1990's when Kashmiri intifada was at its zenith.Before this they used to play cheerfully with other boys in the neighbouring park till late evening and were always ready to make new friends.But suddenly something changed as their parents debarred them from playing till late hours and making new friends.They began to be watchful of their wards activities,friends and used to advice them not to make acquaintances with strangers and keep everybody at arms length as they were too young to understand Who is Who!
Adnan and Arsalan couldn't understand these changes,but they could still experience that something was missing from their lives.
Though the atmosphere,environment,trees,birds,flora,fauna,rivers and snow covered mountains were the same but still the contentment was missing.One day while returning from school they saw hundreds of people being brought down from public buses,made to que up in straight lines,ordered to keep their identification cards in their hands while being throughly frisked by the police and other uniformed men whom they couldn't recognise as Kashmiris because their height,facial complexion and language were different.They saw a man being ordered by these men to become a "cock",the punishment they encountered in their classroom when their teacher would punish any student by ordering him to bent on his legs with his arms criss-crosed across his legs with the fingers holding the ears thus making his head bow down.They saw another elderly man being beaten by rifles,gun butts and bamboo sticks and then thrown in an army vehicle.They were witnessing these gruesome acts but couldn't make out why all this was happening,when suddenly a black soldier sporting big fearsome whiskers covering half of his face shouted at them and ordered them to stop.Both of them froze and fearfully approached the soldier who shouted at them"What are you carrying in these bags?"

"We are carrying our school books and note books in them",both of them responded."Open them",the soldier ordered."Ok",and they began opening and soldier began checking the bags."Do you work for any Tanzeem(Organisation) and help them in transporting arms and ammuniation from one place to other?",the soldier enquired rudely.They both had heard the word Tanzeem for the first time in their lives,but hearing arms and ammunition they were a bit aware as they had seen an illustration of a gun in their book and watched these things in movies."No,they both simultaneously responded We are students".Jane Do Salae Bade Hokar Aatankwadi Banege! (Let them go,these Bastards will grow up to become terrorists).A new word "Salae"had added to their vocabulary but they didn't knew what it meant,but from the soldiers conversation"Aatankwadi"meaning a terrorist they knew this word and could infer that he had predicted that both of them were growing to turn up into terrorists.

They went home and related the whole incident to their parents and enquired about the meanings of these two words that today had been added to their lexicon by the Teacher-Soldier.Though their parents changed the subject,but they were informed that these soldiers were Indian Army and they should always respect them as they are elders.Years kept rolling on,Adnan and Arsalan both passed their matriculation with good marks and came to know that Army was fighting a virtual war with Kashmiri freedom fighters whom they termed as Terrorists but usually in the battle among these two the common man used to become cannon-fodder.

One day at dawn a police vehicle using public address system informed the people that they were under "Crackdown" and ordered all male persons to gather at the school ground.The whole locality male population assembled at the ground and army went on searching the houses with only womenfolk left behind in them.In these conditions nobody was allowed to moveout or move in from the locality as the whole area was sealed.Now army began the identification parade in which each person was supposed to stand in front of certain army vehicles in which surrendered,captured,apprehended militants or renegades were present,who would blow horn as a sign that the person was related to the insurgency,and army men would at once pounce on him and bundle him away.Adnan,Arsalan and their father all passed the test and all people were ready to leave when some soldiers caught hold of Adnan and began to push him towards their vehicle.He resisted and countinued to yell at his father and brother.

Arsalan!Arsalan!Arsalan!Save Me!Save Me!Free Me! I am innocent please let me go!Arsalan and his father ran to help adnan but in the midway were overpowered by other army personnel,but they still could hear the cries of frightened Adnan and saw him being bundled by a dozen armymen in a vehicle which sped away.Now they lost sight of the vehicle.They began to protest and cry at this injustice but were silenced by the Commanding Officer(CO) that Adnan would be released after a few hours of questioning.The CO ordered them to go home like others but they still were reluctant and begged the CO to release Adnan.He answered them in harsh terms to go home and rest.They were left with no option but to leave.They went home where Safia had prepared the lunch as noon time had arrived,but she was so stunned to hear this tragic news about her beloved son being picked up by the army.She began to think about the fate of her son,as usually nobody from army's custody was freed alive.With these sorts of apprehensions and devil designs coming up in her mind she lost consciousness and fell down with a heavy thud.

When she regained consciousness,she began to nag and coerce Shoaib to have FIR(First Information Report) filed against the army for picking up Adnan.Shoaib was reluctant and told her to be patient as the army CO had assured him that they would release Adnan in a couple of hours.From noon it was night but there was no clue of Adnan.Safia's fears grew,but Shoaib assured her that tommorrow the army would definetly release Adnan.But two days elapsed but still there was no news about Adnan.Shoaib went to the police station to file an FIR.The policemen there were non-cooperative and reluctant to file FIR against army,cited the delay of two days as reason for not not filing the FIR.Shoaib argued with them and tried to justify how complicated the case was,at last the policemen obliged him by recording his FIR.

Next day shoaib along with the Police Inspector went up to the army camp where the battalion which apprehended Adnan was residing.The CO described his helplessness by stating that all the men who had picked up had been released on the same day.So Adnan wasn't in their custody.He even ordered his subordinate to bring the file which included the names of men who had been picked up.Shoaib was shocked to witness that there was no inclusion of Adnan's name in the list.He protested by shouting that before the thousands of people army bundled Adnan in their vehicle and he(CO) himself asured him of Adnan's release,but all his shouting and pleas fell on deaf ears.The CO told him that after his release Adnan may have crossed the border to recieve arms training from Pakistan.Shoaib argued that Adnan even wasn't well aware of the alleys of his own locality,howcome he would cross to other side in such a brief period of time,but the CO ordered his men to throw Shoaib out of the camp.Shoiab then pleaded with the Inspector to record another FIR regarding the Disappearance of Adnan at the hands of army.He was not ready to record FIR against army but due to everday protests of people against Adnan's enforced disappearnce he was compelled to do so.

Meanwhile the days began to turn into months and months changed to years,but there was no news about Adnan.Everyday began with hopes of Adnan's returns but ended in sheer despair.Shoaib and Adnan ran from pillar to post,searched every possible army camp,police station,jail,interrogation centre and torture chambers located in every nook and corner of the valley but in vain as they could find no trace of Adnan.He had disaapeared in "Thin Air".In these following years Safia's health began to deteriorate and she died with hopeful sighs of meeting her son before death,but her dream was shattered completely by fate.Now the family had totally been disorganised because of the loss of the only woman.To bring it on track Shoaib decided to marry challenged by circumstances.
The step-mother of Arsalan was able to bring the family on track,and Arsalan also felt the change.This change was but short lived because she soon joined Association Of Parents Of Disappeared Persons(APDP) an amalgamation of Parents whoses sons were subjected to Enforced Disappearances at the hands of the security agencies.She began to champion Adnan's cause as if it was her own.She soon began to join seminars,rallies,protests to lend a voice to this noble cause.It was all going too well,when Arsalan came to know that her step mother received monetary benefits for the cause which she was supposed to lead.She was a voice of dissent and speaking against an Empire,only because it seemed to her the best job available for an illiterate.She used to recieve money from international human rights organisations to look after the welfare of families of Disappeared persons,but she used it to fill her own pockets.

Now when again the nightmare used to come,Arsalan would ponder whether Adnan was seeking help to save him from the clutches of Bandits in Uniform or this Bandit Queen who still was clutching to him like a parasite exploiting his name,earning laurels and building assets.Does Arsalan's cries depict his helplessness at fate which couldn't still leave him despite his Disappearence from the wordly scene?Wasn't he still Free inspite of the fact being invisible to their eyes?What were his pleas which every night he used to protest for?Arsalan couldn't understand and with these thoughts fell asleep.

Author: Mushtaq ul Haq ahmad sikandar.(The author is a student of political science at Kashmir University and can be mailed at : sikandarmushtaq@gmail.com )
~ Mushtaq ul Haq is a frequent writer and co-editor for www.koshurpinta.com