Tuesday, May 11, 2010

WORKING OR HOME MAKER MOTHERS? Mothers Day Special


“Mother is the most solacing and inspiring word in the human lexicon. The word Mother encompasses in its essence a whole plethora of vision whose deliberations would require tomes to elaborate, still the Justice will evade and remain a distant dream. The concept of womanhood is deeply embedded with the self sacrifice of motherhood without whose accomplishment the humanity will lie in shambles which we can witness in the Western Societies where the family as a Social unit of society is falling apart due to the lack of motherhood which is the vital link uniting the family in a single solidified unit. The mothers are the cornerstones and building blocks of any society and nation as the new generation cradles in their laps. They are the initial schools and inspiration for the children to emulate; but this whole rearing and inspiring role model of motherhood is now under strain even in the Oriental Eastern Civilization where mother enjoys a dominant, respectable place and in some cases mother is even surmounted to a stature of deity or even god to be honoured unlike the occident Western Civilization where woman under the false garb and camouflage of freedom, liberty, equality has been reduced to a mere commodity and social butterfly whose use is necessary to promote the products and reap surplus dividends by exploiting her body.
 
As such there is no concept of respectful motherhood in the Western Civilization despite the fact that renaissance whose culmination alongwith Industrial Revolution led to the development of Western Civilization was brought forth by men whose mothers must surely have influenced them but we rarely find any mention of the mothers of these great men belonging to diverse fields from Poetry to Politics, Science to Sociology, Philosophy to Pedagogy, Economics to Ecology and Literature to Linguistics.
 
Till First World War women in Europe too used to enjoy the fruits of motherhood but War created a dearth of men to work in the Industries hence the Capitalists alongwith the Opinion making body of society made the young women and children to work in industries in sub human conditions as well as poverty even drove women to work, who then proved a tool in the hands of capitalists as they exploited workers especially men by making women work on less wages and they were even willing thus pressurizing the men to give in to the same as women stood as competitors. This trend then continued and now women are found in every field and walk of life, and it is indeed a worth appreciating feat and accomplishment by women whose soul since ages has been humiliated and degraded to abysmal conditions, now have proved to the whole world that she can achieve and even think to aspire for greater accomplishments and dreams like men. Woman has come out of the Inferiority Complex as she has indeed proved her mettle and now it is an established fact that without her empowerment and participation no progress can be achieved.
 
Woman is confident, economically independent, socially respectable, politically an entity, culturally honorable and progressively indispensable. But is it all? In the whole process of this empowerment and achievement by womenfolk who has become a causality? The children and family has been the first causality in this process. The working women especially mothers find it too difficult to maintain equilibrium between household and job, thus we are witnessing a mushroom growth of crèches where the infants are reared and these crèches are deemed as preparatory schools. Now crèches are even becoming agents of Social Change as homemaker mothers too are enrolling their infants in crèches as it is becoming a sign of social progressiveness and the Traditional motherhood is being looked down upon and will soon become a social taboo and then a social stigma.
 
Breast feeding of children has too been shunned to a large extent by mothers whose repercussions are for a Pediatrician to debate about. These infants when grow up in crèches are handed over to the custody of servants and now the challenge which is presently baffling Kashmiri Society is that previously the servants or maids in case of children were natives now these are imported or even trafficked from different states of India with their own social set of norms, culture and language which is quite alien to Kashmiri Society. These alien influences will get imbibed and imprinted in the minds of these blooming buds and in a few decades we would have children who would be Kashmiris in origin but quite alien to its own society, hence the generation will be facing more dire and diverse identity crises than what we are presently confronting with??
 
This new generation which will be reared by alien people will feel less or little affection for their parents especially mothers hence the evils like alienation and growth of Old Age homes which has clicked in Kashmir will assume epidemic proportions and a deep crises awaits us if we are to tread the same path.
 
To put a stop to this bleak and dark future traditional role of motherhood must be opted for, but can it result in a rewarding manner? No because unless and until the mothers are educated not in the literate sense but truly educated till then they can’t be role models and good mothers who can raise and rear their child so that he will prove an asset for the whole society and humanity because I have witnessed that uneducated homemaker mothers are not good instructors and luminous legends.
 
My mother is an educated homemaker and what I am today all owes to her rearing skill, teaching qualities and guiding character whose some characteristics and qualities I still find difficult to emulate. I still remember how my mom used to make me recite the lessons till I learned them by heart and used to come first in my whole class a tradition which I still try to maintain given the solid foundation my mom has laid. Even today every write up and research paper of mine has to pass through her scintillating and critical eye to reach the publication house. I sometimes ponder that many of my classmates were too intelligent and hard working than me & each one among them had the potential to become a good writer but they failed to do so. Why? The simple reason was that either their mothers were working ladies who didn’t have time to go through & correct their brickbats or they were illiterate. So I consider myself fortunate enough and thank Almighty for providing me the cradle of such a mother who is always there for me to help, cooperate and share my joys and sorrows. Whatever I am today or will be is only due to the tiresome efforts of my mom, who remains unknown to the world but it is rightly said that the Foundation stones remain always invisible but they are indispensable for any beautiful, luxurious and concrete building.
 
Men have always been exploiting women since ages either through misuse of religion or wrong notions of culture and norms, same is the case with home makers in most cases because the men cow them under their dominance on the pretext that they are good for nothing and have no identity of their own, hence good for nothing is kept at home to produce and rear children. Hence they suffer inferiority complex which is reinforced further by husbands who humiliate them always by their words, instead of appreciating their great cause, self sacrifice, and dedication this alienation and humiliation is more for educated women who become stoic and accept the defeat that despite being educated they could achieve nothing in life, while as in reality rearing children so that they can prove assets is the greatest achievement which no money or independence can achieve. Hence the homemakers must be credited that they are doing a heroic foundational principal job which others have failed to do and can’t do. Even if there is no encouragement from any side still their children will be mirror reflection of these noble mothers with self sacrificing womanhood is the jewel in their motherhood crowns.
 
 
 
Mushtaq Ul Haq Ahmad Sikander is Writer-Activist and presently student of Masters Program Of Political Science at Kashmir University & can be reached at sikandarmushtaq@gmail.com

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